The Bloggity Blog by Tejwant Singh

I'm just a guy with a computer and internet access, who also happens to enjoy writing...sometimes...

Hello my people!

Wow, it has been years since I’ve been on here. After reading my posts and laughing, tearing up, and being full of myself, I feel like should make one last post on here…a good bye post.

I had spent the last few years of high school and my first year in college writing my stories, thoughts, jokes, and opinions on this Tumblr blog…simply because Mother suggested I keep my thoughts in a journal, and I interpreted that as “post your thoughts on the internet for the whole world to see and use against you one day”.

I started it because I loved writing, and I thought I could entertain people with my my faux-narcissism, relationship problems, my logical fallacies, and stories regarding my family and friends…and you know what? I did a pretty damn good job doing so. 

The Bloggity Blog is a chronicle of my coming of age. I see it as a reminder of who I was and who I wanted to become. If you read or have read my posts, you’ll see that its entails the story of a boy trying to understand himself, hoping to one day become a man who will live up to the dreams of his childhood. (While attempting to make people laugh).

During my “hiatus” from the blog, I have gone from figuring out who Tejwant Singh is and started building and defining who he is instead. 

In the past, I have poked fun at people who are psycho-analytical, emotional, philosophical, and overall trying to find themselves. In reality, I was poking fun at myself. Over the years, I realized and accepted that rationality and logic are only part of what make you human, and the emotional/spiritual side of life plays as much of a role as intellect and rationality. I could not grasp that concept when I was younger…some might say I was a robot for being so, but as I got older, I wanted to understand more…I wanted to know who Tejwant Singh really is…who is this man I see in the mirror every? What are his strengths  weaknesses, opportunities  and threats? (Yeah…I just made a SWOT analysis reference, deal with it.)

I won’t go into too much detail, because i will spend hours doing so…but I have come closer to finding the answers I seek, only to find that once I do, I will have more questions to follow up. But isn’t that what life is? One big question made up of multiple questions you are trying to answer?

So as I ask at the end of every blog post: What’s the moral of this story?

And as I almost always answer…I don’t know. :P

So, Tumblr…I bid thee farewell. And to my followers, thank you. I hope you enjoyed reading over the years as much as I enjoyed writing.

Peace and love,

- Your Friendly Neighborhood Tej

P.S - This isn’t goodbye forever. I have a few projects launching by Summer 2013, including a website. If you want to keep in touch, follow me on Twitter! 
@TejiTejTej

First of all, I know it has been a while since I have written anything. I apologize (even though I know its lies) , however this will all change now. 

I saw on Sunday evening that I now have 50 followers on Tumblr. To me this is an extraordinary feat because it means that at least 50 people have read my blog posts and enjoyed them and now follow me. I will have a video relased next week (which I am in the process of editing) as a tribute to you guys. I thank you.

But for now, I am going to start something new. A little Q/A since my inbox is flooded with questions, half of which are absurd, but what evs, I think it’ll be fun answering these, and if you like this, send me more questions and I will maybe do another one of these Q/A’s…which I am answering while sitting on the toilet.

"I like your romantic stories! But some of them sound fake! Are they?! o_O"

No, they aren’t fake…I mean I may exaggerate a little. Like when I say I end up hooking up with a girl, I actually just got to hug them.

"LOLLOLOLOLL"

Indeed. Not really a question, but a great comment nonetheless. 

"I’m Lutheran, but I really enjoyed your Easter blog…….am I going to hell?"

Yes, you are going to hell…but not because you read my blog.  

"Write about contraception!!!!!!!"

Why? That would be the shortest blog ever. In fact I could write it now. 
The title would be: No Raw, Dawg.
And the body would be as follows:

Use protection, unless you want a baby or an STD. If you want the latter, than don’t use it.
- YFNT  

That’s why we leave the ideas to me.

Anyway, that’s all I got. Everything else in my inbox is NSFW…damn you weirdos.

But hey, I had fun answering questions. Send me questions through the inbox, or ASK QUESTION on my page…or my Twitter. We’ll see how the next one goes….

And stay tuned for my video, it will be the utmost epic thing you will ever witness…EVAR!!

So yeah, that’s it, so until next time, peach…err…peace…

- Your Friendly Neighborhood Tej 


 

I had a dream.

No, not a dream about peace and love. My dream was more realistic…

I dreamt that I was a very very wealthy businessman. I was so rich that I was famous. Apparently I was pretty high ranked in a company that made something that made a bunch of money and used all over the world. Not only was I making bank, I made friends in high places. I knew politicians, writers, journalists, and other well known businessmen and women. And for fun, I hung out with famous people…movie stars, athletes, and musicians. And even with all the fun and work, I was helping out in a soup kitchen and feeding the homeless and the ill.

In this dream, I had also had my own entourage of old college friends, and we were going to clubs, lounges, parties, and bars with all these people doing fun and mischievous things after work. A great job, charity work, fancy cars, beautiful women and best friends…

And then I woke up, got out of bed, and got ready for work…where I would deal with disgruntled costumers, instead of making contracts with Chinese businessmen and partying with Katy Perry.

I think things happen for a reason. Having this dream opened my eyes. I feel that life isn’t as surreal as it seems. I’m a smart guy, I just need to find a way to bring this dream to realty.

So far what I should do goes like this: I go to college, find something I love and am passionate about and something that helps contribute society somehow. Lucky for me, I’m passionate about changing the world somehow, or making some sort of impact, therefore these next few years I’m gonna find something that will give me the tools to start that. Then, I use those tools out there in the world. Find a company that is looking for what I offer, and move up from there. I have something that most people don’t have, charisma, hope, and I learn pretty fast, so I don’t think people are gonna ignore that. So over a few years, I should be moving up and up. I should be making a decent amount of money. Enough to be living a fun life and enough to give away to charities and helping the less fortunate.

Okay, so maybe I won’t be hanging out with celebs and musicians, but I could get pretty close…

The only thing that worries me is that not everyone is like this. Why? I thought everybody would love fame and money. I love it, but that doesn’t make me a bad person. Because that’s only one part of the puzzle. I also love that feeling of helping people, being charitable, and helping people less fortunate. My father told me once that there is nothing better than the feeling you get after helping someone less fortunate because they really needed it, not just out of some selfish feeling. 

So when people ask me where do I see myself 10 years from now, I stay quiet and just shake it off saying I don’t know yet, but truthfully, I see myself being happy doing something I love with the people I love and doing my part of making some sort of impact on the world. Money and fame and philanthropy, those are just a fancy names for wants. And when you fight hard for something you want, you eventually get it. 

So yeah hopefully 10-15 years from now, I’ll write a blog and tell you guys that I’ve seen a million faces, and I’ve rocked them all. But for now, I’ll just stick with my 43 followers on Tumblr…

So until the next time, ciao.

- Your Friendly Neighborhood Tej

 

Have you ever sent a text message meant for someone and you end up sending it to someone else? Of course you have.

…Now, have you ever sent a text message that you send to one person and end up sending it to the one person you would never want to read? Because I have, and it sucks.

I’ll give you an example.

A couple of years ago, I had a girlfriend and I had just broken up with her…in fact I had broken up with her that day. I was going to go to a college visit the next day, and I had planned on inviting her best friend along with me since we were friends too and she wanted to visit the same campus. Of course we had planned this weeks before I had broken up with my girlfriend, but it just so happened that I broke up with her the day before the college tour. Merely coincidence…nothing more. Trust me. 

Anywho, I texted my friend and I asked her if we were still on for the trip. Of course, we both knew it was a little awkward since I had just dumped her best friend, but we also made plans for this visit and we were both friends, however, she said yes because we both thought it wasn’t a big deal.

Then my idiot self typed a text saying something along the lines of “Are you sure she won’t care? I mean, we just broke up, I’m guessing she’s gonna hate us”. Now being that I was careless and stupid, I sent that message to my recently ex girlfriend.

Imagine how she responded…haha oh lord…

Now it was late, and I just wanted to go to bed…but instead my ex-girlfriend, her posse, and everyone else who knew me sent me messages and phone calls, assuming I was doing something behind her back…

Long story short, after a long night of setting myself straight and telling everyone that no, I wasn’t doing anything bad, and that I was merely going on a college visit with a friend, who happens to be my ex’s bff (forever!), I started getting flamed on for other things…other things that don’t matter since that’s not part of the story and is long and blah blah blah. That’s what I thought of it back then, and how I think of it now.

So yeah, from then on I knew I should be careful on what I say and make sure I say it to the right people. I learned my lesson…so I thought.

Lets go forward a few years. 

I tell one of my buddies I liked a girl that he was also going for, and that if it wasn’t for him making the first move, I would have probably made her fall for me. (Yes, I know…I am a narcissist). Little did I know that the girl I liked ended up reading that message. A few days later, she asked me if it was true about what I said.

Teji was confronted one more time.

I felt like an idiot for speaking off, and saying something like that (again) and my heart was beating fast since I didn’t know how to handle it. Luckily, impulse kicked in and a yes came out of my mouth…

Long story short, we grew attracted to each other…did it work out? Well thats a story for a whole other time.

But what I am trying to tell you is that you can control what comes out of your mouth, but you can’t control who hears it, and sometimes, what comes out of your mouth is warped into something you didn’t mean. My ex-gf assumed from the message that I was cheating on her, when actually I was just stupid and sent an odd message to her, when it was originally meant to be a normal message to a friend. And in a more positive story, I ended up bonding with a girl through a message meant for one person, but fell on to her ears instead.   

So what’s the moral of the story? Well, if you get a message from me that sounds completely weird, out of context, and in a way paints me in a shady way, it’s probably wrong sent text, because I’m a good guy…

Yeah, that’s right…you gained absolutely nothing out of this, just a good story.

So until the next one and the one after that…peace.

- Your Friendly Neighborhood Tej

I wish I could just go out and say “I am Iron Man”, but no…I am more complex than that…

I think I have characteristics of many of the superheroes we watch and love and adore. Some traits are good, others bad, but being the geek that I am, I will list them for you.

Of course if I can relate myself to any superhero, it’ll be Iron Man…and hell, my friends said it before I did. Tony Stark is a smooth, intelligent man who knows what he wants and how to get it, and he knows this, which makes him come off as a narcissist. Oh wait…I’m also a smooth and intelligent guys who knows how to get what he wants and comes off a narcissist, what a coincidence! But unlike Iron Man, I am not a billionare, a genius, nor a true narcissist, I just pretend I am because its fun…personality wise, I feel I’m kind of like Peter Parker…

Ah yes, the amazing Spider Man, a young, shy guy who’s idealism makes him naive. I find myself being in a way like him in the earlier stages, learning how to use his powers, learning how to handle the new responsibility, and maintaining his life together through this unforeseen circumstance. This is a gift and a curse for him. Also, being as powerful as he is, he is still afraid to confront the girl that he loves. This is as human as a hero gets.

Now on the DC side, I can also relate to Batman. While Tony Stark and Iron Man are one, Bruce Wayne and Batman are two different entities, and you never know who the real person and who is the mask. Bruce struggles with this all the time, and in a way, I can relate. I’m a guy who acts like Tony Stark, hot shot egomaniac who is bright, charismatic, and can grab attention, but I also feel compassionate, shy, scared, and unsure of what’s ahead, like Peter Parker. I don’t know who the real me is, but I can still live on juggling both sides and bring the top of my game. 

I wish I had superpowers, but I don’t. Instead I have to deal with real life situations that affect me and everyone else around me as well. However, I can be a superhero and act the same way they would act when they are presented with a problem or when they come across something. Because in the end of the day, there is a hero in all of us…and with great power comes great responsibility. 

So who am I? I am Spiderman…or am I Ironman…or possibly Batman…

One thing is for certain, when it comes to strength and physique…I’m probably like Wonder Woman…

So until next time, live long and prosper.

- Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider Man Tej 

I think my life is like a movie, or at its best a mediocre TV comedy. And what makes up for half of a movie? The soundtrack. So in my mind, I always have music on and think of it as a soundtrack to my life (Not the Kid Cudi song…good song b t dubs)

For example, when it comes to my love life, I see Space Bound by Eminem as a good look into how I feel. When I’m about to do something awesome and need to get hyped, I play Party Up In Here by DMX because I tend to lose my mind…up in here. When I decide to be emo, I play Creep by Radiohead to remind myself that I don’t belong here (ooooh oooh). And of course, when I’m extremely happy, I play Pocket Full of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield.

Am I weird for doing this? No. If people listen to songs and remember an event or someone through it, why can’t you use music to represent yourself? Like when I need to go to the bathroom, I always have Drop It Like Its Hot by Snoop Dogg playing in my mind. (lol I made a poop joke)

Now I know what you are thinking…”Life isn’t like the movies, Tej, grow up.”…and all I can say to that is that I’m sorry your life is lame, but I try my best to reenact Inception by playing the Inception soundtrack while doing Math because its all a puzzle. Music makes even the most boring tasks suspenseful. Imagine taking out the trash while listening to the Indiana Jones soundtrack…sure the neighbors will think you are a little crazy for going out with a whip and a fedora and whipping the trash can…but how fun is that? 

So yeah, I need music in my life. Picture Inception without that amazing soundtrack…it would have just been blah blah blah. And that’s what life is…blah blah blah. I just spice up the blah with some beats (by Dre).

What’s the moral of the story? I dunno…it was just something I needed to get off my mind. So yeah, sorry if you don’t get anything out of this…but I am not your shrink, so ha! #winning

Until the next one,

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Tej 

For those of you who don’t know, I have a love/hate relationship with going to the club. You see, a hopeless romantic like myself can get a little confused in the club scene. Let me just warn you, if you are looking for love, the club ain’t it. If you are looking for action, the club ain’t it.

However if you are looking for B&G (Bump and Grind…by R. Kelly), the club is the place for you. Because the only thing you can do at the club is dance dance like its the last last night of your life. And if you think you are gonna get some hot young thang’s number…you won’t….well you might…but she won’t remember ever giving it to you, or she’s awkward. True story (Sad story actually.).

So why would one go to the club? Good question. I go to dance with beautiful women, and they dance with me because I don’t look like a creeper, and they know that all i want is a dance and then we’ll never see each other again. Five minutes of fun. Nothing dirty, nothing meaningful, nothing more. Sometimes I see how many cute cutlets I can dance with and see if I can top my record of 15 in 3 hours (So far, no…).

For me, its nothing more than pure fun. I don’t expect to find anything in the club other than dancing, good music, flashing lights, and the deafening of ears when I walk out of the club.

So what’s the moral of the story? You will not fall in love in the club…but then again, why would you…people aren’t who they actually appear as in the club. Clubbing is an escape from life. It is pure enjoyment and fun. My name is Rufus and that’s the trufus.

And now I am off to the club…so until the next one, peace and rove(love in Chinese).

Your Friendly Neighborhood Tej  

Gentlemen, these are a list of lines that should work, but don’t. Trust me, I’ve put my reputation on the line for you on this, so don’t try these…

"If you wait a while, I’ll make you fall for me, I promise, I promise you I will."

The girl laughs at you, pats you in the head, and says you are funny. And then she says that that’s why she loves you…but she means as a friend…

"Let me be your hero."

Again, the girl laughs at you. But this time she is being mean, calling you a nerd for wanting to be a super hero. And then she pretends to fly around you and then walks away.

"I’d live and I’d die for you, I’d steal the sun from the sky for you. Words can’t say what love can do, but I’ll be there for you."

When I first heard this in Bon Jovi’s “I’ll Be There For You”, I got chills. I thought that line was hauntingly beautiful. So Teji thought “Maybe I can melt a girl’s heart with this line…” but nope…girls think it’s cheesy and lame. Thanks a lot Bon Jovi….

"Everything I do…I do it for you…"

 ”Really? Why? That’s kinda lame…I mean, come on, don’t you have better reasons to do things”…is what the girl says. 

Either I was born in the wrong decade, Minnesota Ice goes straight to the very heart of every girl I have met, or I’m just bad at this…but I say its the first two. 

But you wanna know one line that always works for me 100% of the time?

"Wanna do it?" 

True story.

You gotta love what romance has been degraded nowadays…

And on that note, I’m gonna keep listening to all those songs I stole the lyrics from up above.

Peace and Love, 

- Your Friendly Neighborhood Tej

I had drafted three different posts before this. My first one involved how I had one of the lamest Saturday of my life, but I didn’t want to write about my private life…because that’s just lame.

My second topic was on how lame my friends were this weekend, for being boring and not wanting to hang out because they were tired, sick, not sure of what they wanted to do, or cancelled last minute…but that would just make it personal, and I don’t want beef, but I’ll just summarize the 1000 word post by saying that all of my friends are lame…at least at the moment.

And my third “would-be” post was about I spent a Saturday night writing a blog about how lame my weekend was and how lame my friends were…but then I thought that the post was too dark and I didn’t want it to be lame in that way.

Instead of those three, I made an alternative: A blog about how I wrote about three different lame blogposts but decided not to post them because they were lame.  

So what’s the moral of the story? Saturday, April 23rd, 2011 was quite possibly a lame day. But on the bright side, tomorrow is coming up…and the possibilities are endless on what could happen. So the only thing I can do is look forward to a new dawn, a new day, a new life…for me…and hopefully I’ll be feeling good…

One thing is for certain though  - I will not be writing on this blog if I’m having a good time. 

Until the next one

- Your Friendly Neighborhood Tej

Seriously though, what is up with picking up those decorated eggs and putting them in baskets? I see no correlation between that and Mr. Jesus dieing for your sins (not mine, I am a very good boy…or so my mommy tells me). I never understood this tradition, I don’t know if it’s just American or if they do it in other parts of the world, but it doesn’t make sense. Furthermore, there is a human size rabbit involved, and as far as I’m concerned, it’s not Bugs Bunny, so I am not amused by that at all…

Now from where I come from (South America, yes, I am latino too despite appearances) we don’t have big rabbits laying colorful eggs and having children pick them up and eat it. Instead, people go to mass, pray, are thankful for Mr. Jesus doing what he did, and then go off to the beach and tan and swim and have parties…because that’s what Jesus would have wanted. But hey, it’s the reward for sacrificing… I’ll explain what I mean….

Now I’m just a hockey mom from Alaska, but I think I know a little bit about religion. Easter is the last day of Lent. Lent is the 40 days of fasting, praying, and doing good deeds. According to the story in the black book my mom keeps somewhere by her bed, Jesus did the exact same thing for 40 days, while being tempted by Satan (you know, the guy downstairs), however, he was able to overcome with the will of God (Played by Morgan Freeman).

I’m gonna go a little off topic right now just because there is something that bothers me about some people who attempt Lent.First, they give up meaningless things, like:

"I’m gonna give up Facebook, I’m so awesome!"

No, you aren’t. You are lame, sacrifice something meaningful.

"I’m gonna give up smoking"

You won’t…nicotine is addictive. If you do, then kudos to you and you are truly inspiring. But chances are you won’t, and you’ll fail, and then you’ll forget about lent and go watch Wheel of Fortune.

"I’m gonna give up on relationships since I don’t need a man!"

I’m not lying, I heard a woman say this. Not only did I laugh at her, I felt sorry for her just because that is something so utterly stupid to say…but I will write more on relationships on a different blogpost.  

Second reason, I don’t like people who just do it to be cool. Yeah that’s right, like the person who said was giving up Facebook. You caused this domino effect with your friends and now they all wanna give it up. Not because Jesus would, but because they think it’s so cool to do it. No its not. Religion is not about being cool; it’s about learning to be good. Sacrificing isn’t cool, nor is it lame, it’s meaningful and also helps you be one with yourself and with whatever you believe in.

Okay done with that rant…back to Jesus and the eggs.

After Mr. Christ did the sacrifice, he was crucified, and later resurrected (I think, Wikipedia isn’t very specific on the chronological order).

So what do people do to celebrate the second coming of Jesus? Pick up colored eggs and put them in a basket. And what is your reward for sacrificing and praying and being a good samaritan? A chocolate bunny…

And on that note, I wish you all a Happy Easter.

- Your Friendly Neighborhood Tej

I hope I wasn’t offensive…I mean, I didn’t insult religion…I just insulted commercialism and materialistic traditions, but I guess nowadays you don’t know what has more impact in the world…so hopefully I don’t get hated on…


I write this from a parking lot at McDonalds. That’s right, a parking lot…at…Mickey D’s.

I remember when I was 6 years old, I really wanted a Spider Man action figure I spotted while walking around a Kmart. This was not just any Spider Man action figure…it was the Symbiote Affected Spider Man (For those of you who don’t know what that is, its Spider Man with a black outfit instead of the standard red and blue…duh!).  It was the coolest looking action figure I had ever seen. 

Usually I would have to wait for my birthday, Christmas, or someone celebrating something in the family to get presents, and none of those events were near that time, so I did something I really hate doing, and even hated doing back then…I begged mommy and daddy. And they said no.

However, Mommy Singh told me “Teji, if you really want that toy, why don’t you find some sort of way to raise money, save it, and then buy it.” 

So I did.

I did a lot of things to get money (No..not that!). First, I went around the house trying to find coins in the couch, under my bed, in the bathroom, ect. I only found about $2 of change, and I need $10.99 for the Spider Man action figure. So I asked my mom how I could get more money. She told me I could do some chores around the house, such as cleaning my room, helping her in the kitchen, and keeping tidy. So after four weeks of being a maid, I finally had enough money to buy the toy.

We went to Kmart the following week and to my surprise the Spider Man toy wasn’t on the shelf. I asked my dad if he could ask someone to see if they have any in the back. The associate told us that they stopped carrying that action figure three weeks prior. 

Six-year old Tej was devastated. He spent a month trying to raise money for something that he eventually couldn’t get.

I bought two toys with the money I had, and over time I forgot about that Spider Man action figure because I was having fun with my two new toys.

So what’s the moral of the story? Although it’s hard to believe that you work hard for something you realize you don’t get at the end, they always end up with different results or rewards that end up being good enough. If I had bought the Spider Man toy, I would have just had one toy, instead of two. A more realistic example is if I had worked so hard to try and get a raise, and don’t end up getting it, yes, I would be devastated. But when my boss and peers come to me telling me how great of a job I did and how my performance was stellar, it increases my self-esteem, and gives me an even greater chance for a promotion in the future. Or even if I exercise to try and get a six pack and after 2 months I still don’t see my abs look like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s, I’m still losing weight, and the exercises contributes to the betterment of my health.  

So even when you don’t get what you want, don’t give up. You always get some sort of payoff one way or another. And if you don’t get any results that you like, then take a look at your situation, and find the variable that you notice is making things not work out, and take it out. Sometimes for you to thrive at work, you have to quit your job and find a new job that appreciates your skills and has the better payoffs.

So until the next one, peace.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Tej


I was recently reminiscing some early college moments. Walking around the quad, meeting people who eventually became my close friends, getting rejected by girls, driving to class even though it was less than a mile away from my dorm room, getting rejected by girls, hanging out by the river and having bonfires, getting rejected by girls, and chasing squirrels. But one night I will forever keep in mind is the night I pulled the dumbest prank…twice. 

You see, I was a young, naive, foolish, charming, handsome, eccentric…I’m getting off topic…and bt dubs this was a few months ago. ANYWAY. One of my buddies and I decided to prank my next door dorm mate. Lets call my buddy…hmm…Tyler…and lets call my dorm mate…hmm…Daniel. So at 1:00am on a quiet Friday night, we sneaked into his room (door unlocked…fail.) and we saw him sleeping up on his top bunk. And then we…

Wait, let me stop right here. There isn’t enough hype built up to it yet…

Tyler and Tej sneak into Daniel’s room, holding bottles filled with water. Tyler signals the go ahead indicating that the coast is clear. Tej spots Daniel, sleeping ever so heavily. Tyler gives Tej the countdown…3…2…1…*SPLASH*

So I poured water all over Daniel. And he gets really angry. Like HULK SMASH!…

Wait wait wait…I’m doing this all wrong, we poured water on him the second time…before we did that we got in his room, and threw hair on his face…and the hair was from when a friend of ours shaved his head…so don’t worry about it….

After the hair thing, he didn’t wake up…so we came up with the water bottle prank.

And then…

Daniel awakens from his deep slumber and releases the fury of a thousand dragons upon Tej and Tyler.

In other words, he just jumped off his bed and chased us with full force.

No more talking in third person…that’s annoying me.

We ran into Tyler’s room, holding the door so Daniel wouldn’t come in. My heart was beating faster that a disco drum (Yes…that was a Rihanna reference). Eventually we overpowered him and closed the door and locked it. After ten minutes of him standing in front of the door, and us worried about how we were going to die, Daniel left and went back to his room. 

Tyler and I were relieved, in fact we celebrated by drinking water from out bottles. And then it hit me…”we should pour water on someone else on our floor!” 

And then Tyler and I remember that our good friend…lets call him Tyler 2 (Your nickname is inappropriate for this blog) sleeps with the door unlocked (Something to do about him not wanting to lock he’s from Forest Lake blah blah blah).

So we repeat the same thing to Tyler 2. And he didn’t wake up to my surprise. We waited a few minutes and Tyler poured water on him but he didn’t do anything. We left the room and came back in 5 minutes and writes as I was about to go in the door I see a fist just fly right in front of my face and I dodged that like the matrix. Tyler 2 had awakened, and this time he chased us all around the hall. We ran from 3rd floor to 5th all the way to 1st. He we had angered the beast, and he wanted our heads. Eventually I outran him and hid out on the basement with Tyler. 

People were coming out of their rooms wondering what had been going. Eventually we sneaked back into our rooms and went to bed.

…but payback is always in the works.

The next day I came back from class to find my entire bed wet and filled with hair from the night before. I had gotten served. Tyler 2 got me good and Daniel had nothing to do with it, which scared me because I was afraid he’d do something worse, which never did happen…

Tyler never got in trouble with Tyler 2…which made me mad because he was also responsible and my comrade in all of this…but everyone knew it was my plan, so I was glad to get acknowledged on that at least…

So the moral of the story is that I was a horrible dorm mate…but through those pranks, friendships were made, that whole awkwardness in meeting new people was diminished, and we all became comfortable with each other…and I don’t regret it for one bit…except the whole soaking my bed and throwing hair on it…it took two days to get it all out and I slept on my couch.

Anyway, time to go off into Neverland,

Peter Pan…errr 

Your Friendly Neighborhood Tej

*Okay…I wrote this in 17 minutes plus 4 minutes of revising…cut me some slack.

Should have. Could have. Would have. Those are three of the most annoying phrases I have ever heard…and the worst part is that they are stuck in my head like super glue to your fingers. 

Many times we wish we had a time machine so we could go back in time and punch old Tej (well, old you for your own case) so hard in the gut that we would change and not do what we will eventually end up doing. But there is no time machine (yet!), and you and I cannot spend our time thinking about how things could have been different. Regret is a parasite, living off of the past and sucking out all the energy of future ideas. And I have let this parasite suck my mind dry for too long.

Because of us thinking about the past and our mistakes constantly, we are always one step behind in the future because all of the energy we should be using on ideas and thoughts and work is focused on thoughts and pondering on the what if’s and the why’s. But no more, from now on we will have to look at the past, hate it with a passion, but live with it and move on (kinda like a roommate…well not my old roommate, he was pretty awesome…so it’s kinda like your roommate). 

Over time the mistakes and concerns of the past will be further behind us and more good things will be added to the past, and we will just have to look at eventual mistakes as lessons, take the hit, and move on. 

It’s easier said than done, I know…trust me, I have fallen off the wagon numerous of times, but its more of a failure by not having attempted to live in a less pessimistic and negatively nostalgic way. And in the end of the day, all I want is to focus on who I am and what I want to be, rather than on who I used to be and who I could have, should have, or would have become.

I hope this inspires some of you, and hopefully gets you out of some sort of slump. Or maybe you are already good and this just reminds you of how awesome you have it, good for you!
Either way, go out there, forget the past, just remember the lessons, and live your future.

Stay classy Internet,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Tej.

Now I’m just someone who writes about random stuff. But this time I’m going to write about something fun.

There once was a guy named

….hmm…what should we call this guy? Oh I know…I’ve got it!

So, there once was this guy named Tej.
And he went to a party.
He met a girl named Michelle

Because I don’t know anyone named Michelle in real life

Per usu, Tej breaks the ice by telling a joke to Michelle.

Something about the difference between peanut butter and jam…

The joke was dirty, but Michelle laughed.

Which would never happen, since girls hate that joke…but lets play along with it. 

After a few more jokes and puns, their conversation gets deeper.
But then Michelle sees her friend from English class and walks away.

Now let me interrupt this story. This happens all the time, you are just getting to know someone and are really close to hit it off and then BAM! Something comes up. My first theory is that every girl I know has ADD. And how is it that girls have so many friend? “Oh hey, friend from my ceramics class!” or “Lesley! My friend I met while in the bathroom stall!” 

But no…girls always do this, they are never consistent!

They will always go from you to something else right away. But lets continue our story shall we?

Tej, feeling awkward and weird, goes to his friend Billy.
He hangs out with Billy, playing a losing a round of pong.
Afterwards, he meets up with Michelle again.
They start picking up from where they left off.
Jokes, interesting stories, Tej’s magic tricks, ect.
But other friends of Michelle keep coming up.
They keep talking to her and she gets distracted.
Again, Tej feels out of place and awkward.
But Tej, being that self-centered attention grabber makes a move.
He beings talking to the group of girls
About himself
And his ridiculous stories.
Of course, everybody loves him…but he isn’t there to make friends.
He’s there to get Michelle’s number.
But while Tej was entertaining her friends, Michelle was on the phone
And then Michelle goes outside waiting for her friend to come

Jesus christ! How many friends does this girl have?!

Tej tries to play it cool.
He whips out his phone and pretends to make a phone call.
He walks outside towards Michelle in a nonchalant manner.
He gives her a nod while having a fake convo on the phone.
Tej hangs up and then says
"Oh hey, what are you doing out here, its cold out."
Michelle says,
"My friend is picking me up soon, I have breakfast with my parents in the morning."
Tej says,
"Parents? That’s awesome, I have those too…I also eat breakfast…I can tell we are gonna be great friends"
Michelle gets a little smirk on her face.

Now wittle Tejipoo is a little wuss…and has to build up courage to ask this next question. So after a minute of thinking of how to say it, he keeps cracking jokes to her. Until finally…

Tej says,
"Hey it was really nice meeting you tonight, we should meet up and have breakfast one time…but not with your parents…maybe with mine…but I think that’d be really weird"
And then Michelle’s ride pulls up.
Michelle smiles and gives Tej the nod of approval.
She takes Tej’s phone and puts her number on his phone.
After an odd handshake, she gets in the car and waves goodbye.

And that’s it. That’s the end of the story.

How epic was that?!  

Now let me tell you something. Relationships are easy. Getting a girl to fall for you over time is a piece of cake. Telling someone you love them…I can do that in my sleep. Meeting someone and giving them the hint that you are interested…that’s the hardest part. It takes guts and courage and so many things. So this isn’t a love story, this is a true, realistic story. It’s once we’ve passed this stage that it all get better.

For me, its easy to make friends. Not bragging…just saying the truth.
But truthfully speaking, its hard for me to meet someone that you instantly can see as more than just a friend. So yes, trying to live the story above is a bit of a hassle for me. I usually go as far as  ”I eat breakfast too!”, have a laugh, then say bye and never see them again. Building courage and executing is the hard part, but the best way to do it is by wanting something so badly that you do it. The reason Tej was able to make it was because he really wanted to see her again. And he went through with it.

So what’s my advice…I don’t have any. I don’t even know the moral of the story…why don’t you tell me? Hell, you probably have more experience with that than I do. So yeah…lets just leave it at that….

Peace and skeet,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Tej